Maybe It’s Not in the Eye of the Beholder: Living and Loving with Aphantasia or Hyperphantasia

Close your eyes and picture an apple. What do you see? If your answer is “nothing,” you might have aphantasia—a condition where the mind’s eye is essentially blind. You know what an apple is, but you can’t visualize it. No color, no shape, no shine. Just the idea of apple.

If your apple is so vivid you can practically taste it? You might have hyperphantasia, the opposite condition—where your mental imagery is so rich and intense it can be overwhelming.

Chances are, you grew up assuming everyone’s imagination worked the way yours does. That’s the kicker: most people don’t realize how differently we all see, feel, and experience the world—literally.

🧠 Wait, This Is a Thing?

Yup. It’s a neurodivergent trait that affects how people process imagery, memory, learning, and even relationships.

• Aphantasia affects around 2–5% of the population.
• Hyperphantasia may affect 10% or more—though it’s under-studied.
• Many people fall somewhere in between.

People with aphantasia often say things like:

“I didn’t know people could actually picture things in their head.” “When I close my eyes, it’s just black.”

While people with hyperphantasia might say:

“My daydreams are like IMAX movies.” “Memories feel so vivid it’s like I’m back in the moment—sometimes painfully.”

💡 You’re Not Broken—You’re Wired Differently

It can be disorienting to learn your brain processes the world in a way others can’t fathom. But like all forms of neurodiversity, this isn’t a flaw—it’s a difference.

If you have aphantasia, you may:

• Excel at abstract or conceptual thinking.
• Struggle with memory tasks tied to visual imagery (like faces or directions).
• Feel disconnected from typical “visualization” strategies in therapy or learning.
• Experience emotions in less visually-triggered ways.

If you have hyperphantasia, you might:

• Get emotionally flooded by mental imagery or past experiences.
• Thrive on creative work, storytelling, or fantasy worlds.
• Need help distinguishing imagination from reality in emotionally intense moments.

🧠💬 Perception and Emotion: Two Very Different Highways

Let’s talk feelings.

People with aphantasia often describe their emotional responses as “flattened” or hard to access—not because they don’tfeel, but because they can’t summon a memory or image to trigger it. This can make grief, nostalgia, or even love feel strangely… muted.

On the flip side, those with hyperphantasia might:

• Relive emotional memories with intense clarity.
• Get swept up in imagined scenarios (hello, relationship anxiety spirals).
• Experience stronger connections to visualization-based spiritual practices or fantasies.

👀 Invisible Differences, Visible Impact

Because aphantasia and hyperphantasia aren’t commonly understood, they can create disconnects in relationships, classrooms, and even therapy.

Imagine:

• Your partner asking you to picture your future together, and you can’t.
• A teacher assigning a visualization meditation that leaves you blank.
• A friend thinking you’re emotionally distant because your memory recall is less vivid.

Understanding how you perceive the world is key to explaining it to others—and getting the support, patience, or accommodations you need.

🛠️ Tips for Living and Loving With (or Around) a Mind’s Eye That Works Differently

• For aphantasics:
  • Use verbal or logical memory strategies (mnemonics, charts, repetition).
  • Let partners know you express emotions differently—and that it’s valid.
  • Explore non-visual creativity: music, coding, writing, tactile art.
• For hyperphantasics:
  • Practice grounding techniques when imagery becomes overwhelming.
  • Create boundaries around mental replays and emotional “time travel.”
  • Channel your vivid inner world into creativity, empathy, and storytelling.
• For everyone:
  • Don’t assume your inner world matches anyone else’s.
  • Ask curious questions about how others think, feel, remember, imagine.
  • Know that different doesn’t mean deficient.

🌈 Final Thought

In LGBTQ+ spaces—where so much of our identity is about self-awareness, expression, and emotional connection—understanding your mind’s eye (or lack of one) can be profound.

Because maybe it’s not always in the eye of the beholder.
Maybe it’s in the way we listen, learn, love, and lead—seen or unseen.